The Hair Loss Industrial Complex: Sh*t that kinda sorta works

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. - FDR

The only thing we have to fear is thinning hair. - Hair Loss Industry

I just googled “Hair Loss Products.”  At first glance it appears that there are about 3,000,000 entries on Google. WTF? How on earth is a person to know which of those 3,000,000 products work at all?  

I have fallen prey to a number of these hair products and notice a common tactic:  Fear + magical thinking. Men and women are so afraid of losing their hair that they are willing to do/pay almost anything as long as there is a Promised Land of Fuller Locks. The language is similar: “Hair loss is scary as F. We have the special magic sauce.  You will be sexy again.  These before and after photos are real!”  

I, too, keep searching for the magic bullet.  What about herbs? What about rosemary oil? What about organic serums? What about chemically toxic serums? What about biotin? What about keratin? What about hair vitamins? What about Nutrafol? What the F?  I could spend thousands of dollars on this problem.  It’s a rabbit hole of snake oils. (This sentence makes me very happy.)   It feels like an endless capitalist Ponzi scheme that preys on people’s hopes and dreams.  

I've tried countless products because Lord, I know what it feels like to grasp onto anything. I am not a hair influencer and have no skin (or hair) in your game. My results have been gradations of "meh."

To that end, here is my scale: Meh+, Meh, and Meh-. Some stuff has sorta worked, and these meh or meh+ products are being featured today. Next time, I will feature shit that doesn't really work (Meh- products), or stuff that was priced too high for the results.

I am dutifully wearing my red-light therapy cap while watching Schitt's creek. Score: Meh+

Red-Light Therapy cap

This funny looking hat has either red laser and/or red LED lights which according to marketing materials re-generate hair growth. I own one of these beauties, and I paid around $500 (on sale!) for the honor of wearing it night after night. My regimen: I wear the cap for 25 minutes usually every other day.  It’s easy. It’s non-invasive.  I can watch Schitt’s Creek while the cap glows red.  I’ve been using this since around October 2023, although when I travel, I do not take my cap with me. What are my results?  OK, I have noticed some new growth. These short, fine hairs have filled in some thinning gaps. Yet, (and here is the catcher) the new growth develops only to 2-3 inches in length. These hairs seem resistant to developing beyond 3 inches. It wasn't until I cut my hair short that I could see and feel the greater density.  Wendy is a health researcher; she shared an article from the National Institute of Health that provides evidence that the cap creates "significant" new hair coverage after 24 weeks of consistent use. This lines up with my findings. Yes, I saw "coverage," albeit short hairs.   My score: Meh +.

Finasteride

This is a prescription drug that my dermatologist recommended. I've been taking it once a day for about 4-5 months. Finasteride was originally made for males experiencing hair loss (and also prostrate problems); this oral medication blocks DHT hormone production. DHT is derived from testosterone, and too much DHT can weaken the hair follicle, thus leading to thinning hair. Finasteride is well documented in males but is off label for females (meaning the FDA hasn't approved it for this use). There was another hair growth drug that my dermatologist and I had discussed with side effects of mustache and beard growth. No thank you. I can clearly say that there has been no 'stash growth on Finasteride. My score? I give this a full-fledged Meh. I still have hairs in my drain and in my hairbrush, but maybe not as much. It's hard to tell. I was hoping for zero sad hairs in the drain, and I think it is 10% better. I will talk with my PCP and derm about it more, as I have concerns about messing with my hormones, in particular hormonal weight gain.

My own shit

I actually started to make my own serum at home because I just can’t stomach paying so much for stuff that doesn’t really work.  I am perfectly capable of making meh hair products. My meh product contains rose water, apple cider vinegar, glycerin, rosemary oil, peppermint oil, and tea tree oil. These ingredients help with scalp health and (in theory) encourage growth. What are my results? I enjoy the tingling feeling of applying the serum to my wet or dry scalp. My scalp feels healthier, less itchy. Can I attribute growth to the serum? Not really, but serum has minimized inflammation, hopefully creating conditions for more growth. If you are interested in learning how to save money and make your own shit, reach out. My score: Meh

Don’t worry, I’m not trying to sell you anything.  This is not another hair ad. I am not a hair influencer.  I wish you the best of luck as you search all 3,000,000 entries on Google.